If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
