The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
