sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
