Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm sobbing to NWA
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
