I seem to have left my pride at pride
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize