He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
