I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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