I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
