isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
