i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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