she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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