Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
