yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
