literally had 100 drinks last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
They have beer where we have blood.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
