i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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