Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
