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i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
