She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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