Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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