Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
