his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
