Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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