I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
