great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize