Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
