Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
is that a dick in a sweater?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
