When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
