i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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