we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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