I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
