Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize