The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
