You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
