Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
