You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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