Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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