the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just blew my weed a kiss
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize