I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
birth control should be required to get into college
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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