real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
