They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize