I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
