I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
