ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
