I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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