he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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