No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
