He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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