Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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