if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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