this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
