Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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