Someone shit on the floor
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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