Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
