She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
