I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
