I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
