dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
