Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
