I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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