On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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