We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
