Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
