So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She's the barista slut.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
