I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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