i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
