Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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