Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
